A dream I had on 11/16/10
I had a dream right before my alarm went off. I dreamed me and S. were standing in my parents old house, in the kitchen.. It was before they had done all the remodeling.
I dreamed S. was hugging me and saying I love you and miss you soo soo much.. (He has said the soo soo much thing in several dreams now) I could smell his cologne and feel the squishiness of his chest. He was wearing his favorite hoodie (he is every time I dream about him). In my mind, I knew he was here from heaven, and our time was limited. As he was telling me how much he misses me and stuff, he started to disappear, and I knew it was time for him to go back to heaven. In my dream I was crying, and saying, please don't go yet, please just a little more time. The next thing I knew, we were snuggling in bed, and I was laying on his chest. He was telling me he has been watching his mom, and has seen how much she loves all the teachers (in my mind I kept thinking don't you mean students?). I remember I was really irritated, because we were on limited time, and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about his mom.. I wanted to talk about us.
At the end of my dream, he told me something.. He said I am going to tell you something that is very important, so I need you to pay attention. He told me the important thing. then he told me it was time for him to go back, and I woke up. I sat up in bed crying (I think I was crying in my sleep) and was frantic trying to remember what he told me.. I couldn't remember.
I dreamed S. was hugging me and saying I love you and miss you soo soo much.. (He has said the soo soo much thing in several dreams now) I could smell his cologne and feel the squishiness of his chest. He was wearing his favorite hoodie (he is every time I dream about him). In my mind, I knew he was here from heaven, and our time was limited. As he was telling me how much he misses me and stuff, he started to disappear, and I knew it was time for him to go back to heaven. In my dream I was crying, and saying, please don't go yet, please just a little more time. The next thing I knew, we were snuggling in bed, and I was laying on his chest. He was telling me he has been watching his mom, and has seen how much she loves all the teachers (in my mind I kept thinking don't you mean students?). I remember I was really irritated, because we were on limited time, and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about his mom.. I wanted to talk about us.
At the end of my dream, he told me something.. He said I am going to tell you something that is very important, so I need you to pay attention. He told me the important thing. then he told me it was time for him to go back, and I woke up. I sat up in bed crying (I think I was crying in my sleep) and was frantic trying to remember what he told me.. I couldn't remember.
It was so real. It's weird, normally when I dream, I am watching myself do whatever is going on. But when I dream about S., I am in my own body. And it's always so freaking real. I can remember every little details of my dreams with him.
I was frantic for several weeks trying to remember what the important message was. Through my counselor, she helped me get the message. The message was – I need you to pay attention.
Basically my life is a fog, and I am never paying attention.
I get it now.
I get it now.
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