The light

Here's a little secret about me.. I wake up at 3:00am every morning to go pee. Doesn't matter if I climbed in bed at 2:00am, come 3:00am.. BAM I am awake and have to pee.

This morning at 3:00am (of course) I was slowly being woken by a light.. a light I was watching from behind my eyelids.

It was slowly growing brighter, slowly getting closer.. but I was in a deep sleep.. Suddenly my eyes shot open. The light I was viewing from behind my eye lids, shot across my bedroom light a giant shooting star.

My first thought was "WTF is someone doing with a flashlight in my backyard??"

I got up and let my dog into the backyard. After all if there was someone in my backyard.. they wouldn't stay long seeing the size of my dog, nor would my dog be quite about someone being in the yard.
When I let her out I watched her from behind my locked door. She went out, did her business, and was ready to come back inside. She didn't even huff at anything. I couldn't hear anything (you couldn't jump my fence quietly now matter how good you are).

I let her back inside and crawled back into bed. I couldn't stop thinking about the light. Since I had to get up for work at 4:00am anyway.. I decided to just get up and go to work.

Now that I have done my job duties and can sit down and relax.. the visions of the light keep coming back to me.

It was a bright white light. It had a ball in the front of it with a white (straight) tail behind it. Now that I can actually think about the light and process what happened without sleep in my brain.. I can't shake the way the light looked.

The light was in my room.. it seemed to slowly be moving towards me, until I woke up.. than it quickly shot a crossed my room and disappeared. Almost like it didn't want to be seen?

Now this isn't the first time I have been woken up at 3:00am by something weird. I often hear someone say my name. I have been woken by the feeling that I'm not alone to find a shadow standing in my bedroom. Weirdness always happens around 3:00am.

I have often chalked it up to.. I was dreaming.

But this light I can't ignore. It was there. In my room. I was fully awake and frightened.

It's times like this that I know I am never truly alone.

Maybe my husband is still with me after all.

Weirdness in My Land

There’s some weird energy in my life right now.

The other night, I got a frantic message from a co-worker that she had a dream about S.

The dream went as follows:

She was watching herself sleep (In the bedroom she has now), when S. walked in and walked up to her. He blew in her face and yelled “Wake up!” She sat up in bed, and he was rambling on. He was talking to fast and angry for her to understand. She told him to slow down, she didn’t understand. He grabbed her by the shoulders, shook her, and said “Fucking listen to me, this is important! I need you to watch M. really close. Especially at work. Watch every step she takes. I need you to take care of her and protect her, especially when she is driving away.” She then woke up.

The dream was so real, she was confused how she just woke up when in her dream she was already awake, and how S. was just standing in her bedroom, then was gone.

She said S. was very agitated, panicked, and in a rush.

I chalked it up to the recent car problems I have had (Details at the bottom) but decided to take extra precaution with driving. I have people run red lights on me probably twice a month, happens constantly, so I’m always watching, waiting for someone to run the light. I made a mental note to be careful driving, be careful driving drowsy (thanks insomnia), and to be careful because of my car problems.

 I seriously just thought my co-worker was worried about me because I was recently locked in my car with no way to escape.

This morning I had a dream that my friend texted me and said “S. is really pissed off, something is wrong!” When I got the text, I knew S. was dead.. and I knew he had been dead for a while, so I was confused by my friends message. I dialed my friend’s number, put the phone to my ear, then my alarm went off, waking me up.

I thought it was a weird dream. I planned on texting my friend later in the day and telling him about the dream, but first I had to get ready for work.

As I was getting ready for work, I heard my phone go off.. this is like 6:30am. The only person that texts that early is my boss. I checked my phone… and well, the friend I dreamed about had text me, had a dream about S. last night.

Here’s his dream:

So here is my dream as best as I can remember and some of it I don’t think makes much damn sense. Some of it is really clear, like I am clear about sitting at my desk right now, other parts are foggy and hazy like I can’t tell if they were real or what.

So it starts with S. and I sitting at what looks like a sports bar. It reminds me of the Bout Time by the E Center. We are sitting there at a tall table with two big beers in front of us. He is ranting about how I don’t understand how serious this is. I don’t have any idea what he is talking about but he is really irritated. I can’t tell if he is irritated with me or what he is ranting about. I had this sense though, which I really don’t have any idea about his size that he was much bigger than me. I know that sounds random but it was just a weird sense I got. Anyway, I was trying to calm him down so he would tell me what I didn’t understand and what was so serious. The felling I got is the same one I get when T. is ranting about something. He just goes off and I have to try and calm him down to get to whatever it is he is ranting about. Anyway, He just kept telling me that I didn’t understand how serious this was. So I sort of barked back at him that “ I got it” this is serious but what do you want me to fucking do. He said I have to take care of M. To look out for her and protect her. That he knew that I would always protect you. That he needed to be able to count on me. So I reassured him that I would but that he needed to tell me what the fuck the problem was. He just said again that I didn’t or maybe it was possibly that I wouldn’t, understand how serious it was. He got up and left and I asked him where he was going, that he hadn’t finished his beer and that I still didn’t understand. He looked at me and said “ yes you do” and that he knew I would take care of you….

Then things get fuzzy..this is the part that I can’t get a lock on so to speak..What is clear about this is you and I sitting on a bed in a strange house. The bed was one of those old time beds with the metal head and foot board. Anyway, we were running or hiding from someone or something. Not clear..but we were hiding in this house in this bedroom. I had my arm around you with your head in my chest and kept telling you that I would not let anything happen to you. That you would be safe. I was kissing the top of your head. You were crying and upset but I just kept telling you not to worry. I would never let anyone or maybe it was anything get you. Then a loud noise like a siren or something from down stairs went off and I woke up..

So it was weird. The S. part like I said was pretty damn clear. The you part was more fuzzy, dream like, ummm distant to some degree. But I had a very strong emotion about you when I woke up. I still don’t know what the warning was about but he was clear that he knew he could count on me to care for and look after you. Which is very true but I find strange given what has happened between us and that I have not been present in your life for the last 6 mos or so. So anyway, that was what I remember about my dream last night. I didn’t or don’t remember any other dreams or having any dreams for weeks for that matter.

When my friend told me about his dream, the hair on the back of my neck stood up. How is it possible I dreamed my friend texting me that, when my friend is having this dream about S. at almost the exact same time??

I’m on edge. Several people in my life are on edge. 

I had to do the one thing I hate doing. Reminding my mother that if something did happen to me, what I would want. I wouldn’t want to be paralyzed or left on machines. My mom hates these conversations, but without a spouse.. those duties fall to my parents, and I don’t want them to ever question what I would or wouldn’t want.

One thing that is repeating in all 3 dreams is S.’s agitation about the situation.

Something is amiss somewhere, and I can’t figure out what it is, what these signs are, or hell.. what to even do with the information.

For now I will be extra cautious with everything I do (lock the doors, don’t go out alone at night, be safe driving) and will be updating my will, yet again.

(Car details, this happened last week-While driving my 2005 VW Jetta the other day, the car started dinging at me, indicating that the driver’s side door was open. I pulled over (on the side of the freeway), went to open my door, only to find out I could not open the door. Nor could I roll down the window. I was locked inside of my car, on the side of the freeway!)

FYI Volkswagen is aware of the design flaw and has not recalled this part. So if you found this blog looking for reviews on Volkswagen, I say run to Honda.

Teeny, Tiny, Purple flowers

Days after My Vegas Debut, G. sent me flowers that had the EXACT, Teeny, Tiny, purples flowers that were in my dream.

Now my question for you -
What kind of flowers are these?

Any why was the makeup artist covering my nipples with this certain flower?

And isn't life a lil ironic?

My Vegas Debut

I had a dream I was the main role in a play in Vegas.

I was Rapunzel.

I flew to Vegas, and went straight to my makeup artist.

I knew my costume was a white, fishnet body stocking, with a black thong.

The makeup artists job was to cover my nipples with fresh flowers.

He started with teeny, tiny, purple flowers. Each flower was so tiny, that he had to use tweezers to handle them.

He finally got the teeny, tiny, purple flowers glued to my nipples.

Days after this dream, G. sent me flowers that had the same
purple flowers in it that was in my dream

They looked great!

Then it was time to put on my body stocking.

As I pulled up my body stocking, all of the flowers fell off.

I stripped my stocking off, and he started glueing them all back on.

Once the flowers were on (again) I pulled up my body stocking.

Once again, the flowers fell off.

We decided to go with daisies.

We decided on white and yellow daisies.

He glue them on, and they looked FAB!

I pulled on my body stocking, only to have the flowers fall off again.

At this point I can hear them starting the play.

The said my name, stated I would be Rapunzel.

Everyone was applauding and cheering.

I was freaking out.

I was seconds away from needing to be on stage, yet my nipples wouldn't stay covered.

I finally told my makeup artist, fuck this!

I don't care if my nipples show!

I then realized my nipples were covered in glue.

I couldn't go on stage with my nipples covered in glue!!

I was frantically trying to rub the glue off.

Then they called my name.
It was my time.

I realized nipples covered in glue wasn't the worst thing that ever happened.
Hell, my husband committed suicide.

I pulled up my body stalking.
And started walking out on stage,  looking sexy as shit..

Then I woke up.

After much research on google of nipple dreams, I realized
To dream of breasts means nourishment and your need to be nursed and cared for. To dream that you are topless and show off your breasts means you feel anxious and out of control about something. 

Out of control? 
Please.