How to treat a Lady

How to Treat a Girl Lady
1.Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out. 

3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it. 

7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.

8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did. 

8.5 If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.

9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it... 

10. Not all of them eat like birds, alot of them can eat like whales. 

11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy. 

11.5. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time! 

12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship.

13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.

14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to kick the s**t out of him.

15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.

16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back. 

17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.

18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals. 

19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.

20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like s**t, so be understanding.

21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.

22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend. 

23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.

24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.

25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.

26. Memorize their god damned birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life. 

27. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.

28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. 

29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out. 

30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, priviledge and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.

- Unknown

Anonymous Post - Sex after the death of my spouse

One of the things I've struggled with since my spouse died is sex. On the one hand, I've really missed the sense of contact and connection, the closeness, and the purely physical enjoyment.  Heck, I also miss the idea of making someone else feel good, knowing I'm still at least capable of that, and having someone else care enough to return the favor.  I'm not the one who died, and part of being alive is still noticing the opposite sex, still wanting that.

At the same time, part of me still feels more than a little uncomfortable about the idea of being in bed with someone else.  I know part of it comes from having been married as long as I was.  I was never unfailthful during that time.  Sure, I noticed other people who were attractive, but anything beyond that would pretty quickly make me more than a little uncomfortable.  It got pretty well ingrained in me that being married meant that sex was something between me and my spouse...and not anyone else.  Now I'm finding that knowing that I'm essentially single again (at least as far as that goes) hasn't gotten through to that part of my brain that says that everyone else is off-limits.

So now I get to deal with being torn between wanting and sometimes hungering for someone else to be in bed with and a powerful aversion to that idea.  I know that there's no right answer, that this is one of those things we each get to figure out and deal with for ourselves.  No-one can give "The Right Answer" for it.  And it doesn't help that in the last few years my spouse was alive our sex life was getting increasingly strained and increasingly infrequent. Thinking back on the good times we'd spent with each other in that way is very difficult, too, as the reminder of what used to be and now is gone hurts, too.  Then again, so does remembering the times where things didn't work so well.

Since my spouse died, I have had sex with someone else.  Physically, it still feels good.  I'm glad to know I can still enjoy touching and being touched.  It is reassuring that it seems like those times have been mutually enjoyable, that that part of me isn't irrevocably broken.  At the same time, it feels bizarre when the old habits of what my spouse liked don't match up with who else I've been with. I've also found that I've kept part of myself shut off from them. I'm not ready to open up that much to anyone else right now.  It frankly has me worried, at least at times, about whether I'll ever be able to be that open with someone again, that it'll become making love once more and not just having sex.

And it sometimes makes me wonder if it's worth it to bother at all anymore.  I generally know the answer to that, especially for the long-term, but that doesn't change those times when I get tired of feeling confused and hurt and scared and angry.  I hate having those kinds of feelings associated with something that can be so wonderful and beautiful.  I guess that's just going to be part of working through that aspect of living longer than a spouse and having to figure out how do more than just survive.

Anonymous blog - I'm afraid

I realized something today. I am scared to death of losing my job. I have never been scared of that before because I have always felt that I am a great employee. I work hard, I do what I am told, make money for my company and really don't complain much. All and all I feel like I have always been a great asset to any company. I have also always been recruited by competitors but have remained loyal to my employer. All of those things have raised my self esteem, made me feel like I was a good man, that I was worth something. I know what you are saying, a job  is what we do, not who we are. I know that, I have always been the first one to say that to others but now I am a truly scared of losing my job, I realized that deep down I am feeling my self worth being very tied to the job I do. I feel like if I lose my job or take a cut in pay that I am not worth as much as a man.  So the problem with this is that I am now in a relationship and this deep seated fear is causing problems. First off I am starting to think about a real future with this lady. That we may build a life together. So my fear of losing my job, my fear of losing my worth as a man, is starting to manifest itself in my fear of losing my girlfriend. Cause ya know if I cannot be a good provider than she will leave me. I know that is not true. I know that I am worth more than what I do. I know that I am a good boyfriend and who knows I might just make a good husband too one day.  HOWEVER I am allowing these fears and insecurities to cause problems in my relations that are real. I am taking out my stress on my Girlfriend and she has no real idea why. I am snapping at little insignificant things which is totally unfair to her. She doesn't deserve to have me take my stress out on her. See I am really bad at telling people what I am afraid of, or what I am really stressed out about. So I keep shit like that all bottled up and then it comes bursting out at the dumbest shit and gets directed at the person I love the most. So while I know she will not leave me if I were to lose my job, I am certain, that unless I can learn to communicate better, tell her how I am feeling, become truly vulnerable with her and stop keeping all my fears and insecurities bottled up, she will leave me.  It wasn't until today did I realize all of this. I don't know why I am telling you, a complete bunch of strangers, all of this. I guess it was that I realize that in this current economic climate, how so many people can lose hope in themselves because so many of us truly feel our self worth is linked to our economic prosperity. That we are what we do. That we allow ourselves to be defined by our jobs. I know that just the fear of losing my job is playing havoc with my self esteem I can only imagine how I would be feeling if I actually lost my job. The good thing is that I realize this now. I can work on not allowing myself to be defined by what i do. That my self esteem should not and will not be tied to my job situation. I am more than that and better than that.  So if I lose my job it will suck but most importantly I have people that love me and I will find something else to do to earn a living. See I am a good employee and I guess what? I was looking for a job when I found this one and I will just find another one. Someone reminded me that "the best things in life are not things".