I cannot be your friend anymore

I have been extremely sick since 2/23 with a kidney infection. I lost 10lbs with it. I have never been so sick in my life.

Besides the good side effect of losing 10lbs, I had another good side effect.

This is hard to admit, and hard to post openly, but I know I need the support for my loved ones.

Dear alcohol,

You and I were never really that good of friends. Occasionally we would meet up at parties and events. But rarely were you in my body or home.

Come 2008 (when the husband got sick), we became friends. You were my stress reliever and comfort from the sad and horrible reality I was living in.

When my husband died in 2010, we became best friends. You have been there for me every day, without fail. We would enjoy several glasses of wine, or several beers, together every day. You became my comfort, stress reliever, sleeping aid, and buffer for my grief.

Alcohol, you see, I have been on anti-depressants since the 8 month mark of my husband’s death. Because of our friendship, I have not given my medication a chance to work.

After being so sick, we have not been friends for 2 weeks now. I do not have the urge to see you anymore.

Since I have no urge to be friends with you, I think it is time we cut our ties and go our separate ways. I hope one day we can enjoy each other’s company on the weekends or at parties, but until then..

I cannot be your friend anymore.

With all due respect,

M.

PS: Please send good vibes my way, and prayers my way. I know as soon as I feel stress, overwhelmed, or deep grief I will be longing for my friendship with alcohol, but I can’t allow it back in my life.